Lamentations of a Shoe-addict, Photoshop and Autotune

October 11, 2010 at 10:56 pm | Posted in poem | Leave a comment
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Having obtained copies of… “A Light in the Attic”, “Where the Sidewalk Ends” and “Falling Up”, all written by Shel Silverstein recently, I have become inspired to write poems of my own.  I have 12 or so in my buffer, so I’ll leak them out first, in no particular order, possibly slightly organised.   Okay, they might actually be slightly chronologically organised.   And before you say it, yes they mostly suck.  These are my first explorations.  Maybe if I have enough, I can publish them.

Lamentations of a Shoe-addict

They call to me, the pretty shoes,
but they’re not in my size,
it makes me blue,
oh why do they look so good.

My heart, it’s torn,
I feel its call,
of this opportunity,
to buy them alllll

I already have a lot of heels,
a lot of pumps, all good deals,
but surely one more pair,
would be good to wear?

Photoshop and Autotune.

Photoshop and autotune,
makes your skin smooth,
eradicates flabbiness,
Ons your off-pitch,
converts shrieks into croons.

Autotune and photoshop,
Homogenizes vocal texture,
makes your song sound like a powerpoint lecture,
no more blemishes or spots,
turns utter ugliness into hot,
when will this parasite of creativity,
die in a pool of autoshopped phototunes and stop?

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